• This tree looks like it had a wild night out at the disco and came back with a severe case of “frostbite.” It’s so white, I half-expect to see it in a snowball fight with an avalanche!

• Those ornaments? Did someone raid a kindergarten craft box? They’re less “vintage Christmas” and more “last-minute arts and crafts project” – I mean, where's the creativity, folks?

• And what’s with the army of forlorn snowmen and gnomes lurking underneath? It’s like a holiday horror film waiting to happen—“The Gnomes of Christmas Past” just doesn't have the same ring as "The Nightmare Before Christmas," does it?

Summary: This tree is a frosty fashion disaster with a craft fail on the side. If it were any whiter, it would be up for an Oscar for Best Supporting Role in "Frozen."